Do I have to take it off?
by UNseated4TH
Summary: Written pre-364. Just what are Aizen, Gin and Tousen doing inside the barrier? Gin bought poker cards! But he forgot the chips...What to use instead? And when does the barrier disappear? Oh dear. And Yamamoto thought he'd seen it all.


**I came up with the idea for this when I was talking to my sister one day. We were wondering what Aizen and Co. could be doing inside that barrier thing all this time and this was one of our theories. Oh, and I wrote this before chapter 364 was out, just to clarify things. Enjoy ;)**

**Edit 1/1/11: Whoa, I never though this story would be so popular, thanks guys! Just came through to fix a few grammar, spelling and wording errors that have been bothering me. Happy new year!**

**Edit 1/6/11: I am entering this in the SMASH! Fanfiction contest under the category/theme 'disaster' :]**

**Do I have to take it off?**

Gin frowned. This was no fun. How long had they been inside this fire barrier the Old Man had made? It was disastrously uninteresting. He sighed and looked over to Tousen, who was humming tunefully.

"I'm boooooored…" whined Gin, "When do we get to fight?"

Tousen glared at the ambience from his obnoxious colleague, "Be patient. We'll fight when old man Yamamoto lifts this barrier."

"Which wont be for while," commented Aizen, "Most of them are still fighting, and it's not time to leave yet…"

Gin frowned again. It looked strange and unnatural on him, creepier than the ever-present grin. But suddenly, with growing joy, he realised something. He excitedly reached into his hakama pockets and pulled a stack of poker cards.

"Who wants to play then?" he asked.

After deciding that there really was nothing better to do, the three sat in a circle (or triangle) and set up Gin's poker set. It was then that they discovered a major flaw in their plan.

"Whoops!" Gin said with amusement, "I 'forgot' to pack the poker chips!"

Aizen fumed, "You idiot! How are we meant to play now?"

"There are ways of playing without the chips," spoke Tousen wisely, "All you need to do is substitute them with something else."

"Yeah, but what?" asked Aizen.

Gin grinned even wider than usual, "Tousen knows what I'm talking about. Don't you, Tousen?"

Tousen nodded, "I'll start."

He began the round by removing his visor and placing it into the middle of their circle. Tousen's visor was soon accompanied by Gin's shoes.

"Well Aizen," said Gin expectantly, "What are you going to put in?"

Seeing no harm, Aizen simply removed his coat. Then they played around with their cards for a bit, before Gin chuckled.

"Now, I'll be taking your coat and visor."

Aizen smirked. He knew what was going on now, and if that squinting idiot could do it, then he could as well. He had heard about this game before. In fact, some of his division in Soul Society had asked he play it with them, but he had politely declined. They only wanted his cool brown glasses.  
This time however, was different. They had plenty of time to kill and he no longer had those glasses. He grinned a very Gin-like grin as he undid his belt. He was getting serious. And this meant war…

**1 HOUR LATER**

Aizen sat half-naked and surveyed his two opponents. This was disastrous; Gin had by far the most infuriating poker face. To any other person, smiling like that would indicate they were winning. But when that person smiled all day, every day, it was really hard to tell whether they were wining, losing, or bluffing.  
Tousen however, was a different case although hard to read nonetheless. Aizen didn't even know how the guy could _see _the cards, let alone play! And with all the bits-and-pieces and accessories Tousen wore, he'd hardly even stripped any main garments. Aizen sighed. He was really bad at this game. And Gin had made a lame rule that if you had won any rounds, you were not allowed to wear your winnings, but rather appreciate the slow process of stripping. That bastard. As it was, Gin was sitting there in his underwear, with a large heap of clothing piled up next to him, and a grin as large as ever.  
As the next round came, Tousen stripped off the top half of his clothing all at once. He obviously had a good feeling about this round. Aizen tugged of his socks and tossed them into the middle. Gin began to tug at his boxers.

"Wait!" said Aizen, desperately, "Can't you just use some of the clothing from your pile?"

"Aww, but then the game would be no fun," objected Gin as he tugged down his boxers and chucked them in the middle, now completely naked.

"For once I'm glad I'm blind," muttered Tousen.

Aizen sighed and looked down at his winnings. Gin's belt and Tousen's hair tie. Nothing that would help him much. He gave a sigh, as Gin tried on Tousen's visor glasses and proceeded to place them back on his ever-growing pile. Aizen looked down. All he had left were his pants and boxers. Soon he'd be just like Gin…  
The round continued on, with Tousen the victor. He happily took his shirt, the socks and boxers and added them to his pile.  
A few minutes later, Aizen was in nothing but his boxers. They began his final round of clothing. Tousen removed his pants, stripping down to his boxers. Gin simply added a random garment from his pile. Now it was Aizen's turn to add something.

"Do I have to take it off?" Aizen whined.

Gin chuckled, "It's the aim of the game."

Aizen gulped and removed his boxers to the snickering of Gin.

Suddenly, the sound of a rushing wind echoed throughout the barrier.

"What's happening?" asked Aizen.

**..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..::..**

The various battles throughout Karakura town paused momentarily to observe as the fire-barrier began to flicker and rush away, revealing none other than the three ex- captains in their various stages of nakedness, all looking shocked and embarrassed at their undignifying situation. Except Gin who just smiled and waved at Rangiku.

Aizen groaned. This was a disaster.

Yamamoto gasped. In all his years as Soutachiou of the elite thirteen court guard squads, never had he seen such a foul, apocalyptic scene.  
Even the three's minions seemed shocked. Immediately, Starrk abandoned his battle with Shunsui and Ukitake to hurry over to young captain Hitsugaya and cover his eyes.

"A child should not see such things," he spoke sternly.

"I'm not a child. Gettoff!" grumbled Hitsugaya, prying the much larger hand from his eyes. However, he instantly re-applied the hand at the sight of his ex-colleagues.

Soi-Fon wished she had gorged her eyes out instead of cutting her arm off and hid behind her lieutenant to block out the crude sight.

Then one by one, some of Aizen's mightiest Espada began to crumble at the sight of their exposed masters. Halibell melted into her icy-chamber. Barragen rotted and was swept away with the wind. Several Arrancar met similar fates, and all the Shinigami could do was stand, wait and endure.

It was Komamurra who finally had the courage to step forward.

"Be gone, nude ones," he spoke in a dignifying demeanour.

And that was all that needed to be said. The three turned and vanished back to Hueco-Mundo, the clothing they left behind drifting gently to the ground.

It was during this time that both Old-man Yamamoto and Aizen turned to their men and said, "We never speak of this again, you hear?"

Their subordinates had never been so happy to comply.

**THE END**

**Thanks for reading, if you're gonna fave, plz review as well as this is only a oneshot ;)**


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